Defying Gravity
by bouquineuse
Summary: A series of life's misfortunes and Finn have Rachel trapped in a mundane life in Ohio. Jesse and Kurt plan to change that. Completed for St. Berry Week
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'm not sure how this story happened, but the plot bunny simply insisted I write it. I haven't been able to get anything else done in my spare time because it just wouldn't leave me alone! It's a five chapter fic and a word of warning: If you like Finn you will not like this story. You can blame the Glee writers for the fact that I now loathe Finn (love Cory though). The writers have ruined Finn and they are progressively ruining Rachel too. **

**So for what it's worth, here it is. **

**(As usual, the characters don't belong to me, but the mistakes are all mine.) **

**Chapter 1 **

Jesse leaned back in his expensive leather chair and gazed out over the city. He had it all, the fame, the money, the trophy girlfriend (under an ironclad non-disclosure agreement), a loft in Manhattan and a house in Malibu. He was only 25 and he'd made it. So why did he feel so dissatisfied? Why did nothing seem to matter lately? It was a feeling that had grown day by day over the past year and he just couldn't seem to shake it.

The sound of high heels clicking on the hardwood floor interrupted his musings and he turned to see Sherry, his new PA, approaching with mail in hand. She left it on his desk and departed without a word. Jesse smirked; Sherry was catching on pretty quickly as to when she should and when she should not talk to him. He started looking through the mail and then frowned. She had not yet, however, quite grasped what he considered to be important mail and what was not. He looked disdainfully at a couple of the letters he'd picked out of the bunch. Really, solicitations of this sort should have gone to his agent.

But the name and return address of one of them caught his attention and he extracted the letter and began to read. It was from a Show Choir committee in Ohio asking him if he'd do them the honor of being a judge at the upcoming Regional show choir competition in Dayton, Ohio. He sneered at the obvious flattery embedded in the letter. He dealt with sycophants on a daily basis and their fawning had no effect on him or the decisions he made. The year he'd flunked out of college, and his parents had cut off his funds, had proved to him just how few people really cared about him or were real friends. After that experience he'd been very careful about picking who his friends were. He didn't have many but those he did have were unimpressed by his fame or wealth; to them he was just Jesse.

Still, he mused as he reread the letter again, it would be good PR. And he probably could arrange for his understudy to cover for him so he could be there for the competition. As much as he loathed Ohio (too many bad memories), it would be good perhaps to give back something. After all, he had been a four time National Show Choir Champion and the only one from Ohio (so far at least) to make a real success in the entertainment world afterwards.

That thought caused Jesse to frown once more. Where was Rachel Berry? He'd been successful, for the most part, in wiping her from his mind by concentrating on his career, but every now and then she still crept into his thoughts. She had all the talent and drive to make it and surely by now she would have completed college and be auditioning for roles. But he hadn't heard even a whisper about her. Why wasn't Rachel Barbra Berry storming the boards of Broadway or at the very least, Off-Broadway?

On a sudden whim, Jesse logged onto his laptop and looked her up on Facebook. He was a bit surprised that she hadn't defriended him, but that was a minor revelation compared to the fact that she hadn't updated her facebook in years. He couldn't fathom Rachel not posting videos of her performances and updating her plans and goals for that length of time; a few months, maybe, but years? A sickening feeling came over him. Had something happened to her? What if she was dead?

The very thought struck like an arrow straight to his heart. Jesse had long ago made peace with the fact that Rachel was not his. He didn't like it; however he'd learned to live with it. But the thought of a world without Rachel Berry lighting up a stage was unacceptable. He took a few deep breaths then decided on a course of action. Step one was already forming in his mind. He reached for the phone and placed a call.

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To say Kurt Hummel had been surprised by the invitation from Jesse St. James, albeit via his personal assistant, was putting it mildly. But here he was, about to knock on Jesse St. James' door to see the elusive man himself. He was even more surprised when Jesse, barefooted and dressed casually in black t-shirt and jeans, was the one who opened the door.

"Hummel. Glad you could make it. Please, come in, sit down. Can I get you something to drink?" His manner could almost be called friendly, Kurt was surprised to note.

"Well, I am partial to afternoon tea. Earl Grey, with sugar and milk, if that's possible. If not, just chilled water is fine." Kurt was busy surveying the loft's décor as he took a seat on a cream colored sofa accented with turquoise cushions.

"No problem. In fact, I was just making myself some. My grandmother always had afternoon tea and I seem to have followed in the tradition," Jesse replied, as he set about getting out another cup and saucer. He smirked as he noticed Kurt keenly sizing up his high-end loft. "So, does my humble abode meet with your approval, Hummel?"

"Why yes, yes it does. It is very Jesse St. James but with more color than I'd expected. I rather thought it would be all black, like your preferred choice in clothing. You do know it wouldn't kill you to wear a bit of red or blue now and then. The black is so cliché, don't you think?"

Jesse grinned. "But it is rather my trademark. Besides it's easy." He arranged everything on a tray and set it on the ottoman that doubled as a coffee table. "I'm glad you agreed to meet with me, Kurt."

"I'm glad you contacted me. I've been trying for some months to get in touch with you, with no success, I might add. Your employees are very protective."

Jesse raised an eyebrow up in surprise, "You've been trying to contact me? Is it..." He paused for a moment, putting the teapot down on the tray because suddenly his hand was shaking. "Is it about Rachel?"

"Yes. It's about Rachel."

"Where is she? I've heard nothing about her or from her. I finally went online and discovered she hasn't updated her facebook page in years. Has something happened to her? She's not sick or…." He couldn't keep quite keep the note of anxiety out of his voice.

"No. She's not dead or injured." Kurt was quick to put Jesse's concern somewhat to rest. It was obvious that Jesse still cared about Rachel. He hoped Jesse cared enough. "But things are not good."

"What's happened?" Jesse's attention was fully on Kurt, his own tea forgotten.

"Shortly after we graduated both her fathers were killed in a freak accident while volunteering abroad. Rachel was of course totally distraught, and with her life turned upside down she turned to Finn for support. You know it was both Rachel's and my dream to come to New York after graduating, but with Rachel an emotional mess, Finn, convinced her to stay in Lima and attend OSU. I decided to wait a year too until Blaine graduated. That's when things really started to go wrong. " Kurt paused to take a sip of tea before continuing.

"Finn was very insecure about his future and, as Rachel was always Finn's number one fan, he didn't want to lose her adulation. He started taking control of her life and then undermining her self-confidence in subtle ways. For years we all thought Finn was a bit dense, but when it comes to Rachel, he's a master manipulator of the highest order. " Kurt's voice was suffused with anger and he had to take another sip of tea in order to gain control of his emotions.

"I was to blame too. I was too involved with Blaine to notice what was happening. As far as I was aware the plan was still for the Rachel, Blaine and I to go to New York after Blaine graduated from high school and Rachel and I finished our first year of college. That was the plan but then, well, Rachel got pregnant."

"What? Wait, let me guess. A convenient 'accidental 'pregnancy no doubt." Jesse's voice was laced with sarcasm and cold fury.

"It should never have happened, she was on birth control, she was very careful. We figured it was just bad luck. It was only later that a drunken Santana let it slip to Blaine and me that she'd helped Finn switch Rachel's pills."

"Why on earth would Santana…oh wait, we're talking about Santana. I should have abducted Rachel the day she graduated and brought her to New York with me."

"In hindsight, I wish you had." Kurt agreed glumly. "I can't believe I'm saying this but, knowing what I do now, I would gladly help you with the abduction. Compared to my step-brother you are a saint- no pun intended. "

"So, Rachel has a child." Jesse was still trying to come to terms with that, but the thought of Rachel having Finn Hudson's child, especially under such circumstances, literally made him feel sick to his stomach.

"No, no, she doesn't. They got married but the baby was born stillborn. Rachel was devastated. It was just one more thing she felt she'd failed at, one more of life's cruel blows. I did manage to make her promise that she'd finish college, and she did. She got her teaching degree and she's regained some of her confidence and drive while working with the kids this past year, but you and I both know that teaching high school students wasn't supposed to be her destiny. I never told her about the birth control pills because I really had no proof, and I was afraid it would cost me Rachel's friendship. She always comes to Finn's defense. I think Finn would be only too happy if Rachel and I were no longer friends, because now that I live here, I represent New York and it reminds him of where she should be."

Kurt eyed Jesse cautiously before continuing. He'd never seen Jesse this furious, but at least that meant Jesse would help, so he resumed his tale: "The funny thing is that I don't think Finn is happy either. His insecurity and need to control the "one good thing in his life" is destroying not only Rachel but himself as well. However, he's too blind to realize it and instead he's begun pressuring her to try and have another baby, as if that will fix everything. I need to do something or he'll have her trapped forever. That's why I've been trying to get in touch with you. I need your help."

"You want me to kill Finn Hudson?" The idea was very appealing to Jesse at this point, even if nonsensical, and he wondered where this conversation was going.

"No." Kurt was somewhat taken aback to realize he wasn't as appalled by Jesse's suggestion as he should be. Who would have thought that everything between him and his step-brother would have deteriorated so badly? "No, nothing quite that drastic, rather, I need your help in staging an intervention, Jesse."


	2. Chapter 2

Defying Gravity Chapter 2

Jesse had entered the auditorium via the back entrance and under the highest secrecy. Although he'd turned down the invitation to judge Regionals, he had agreed to make a pro bono guest appearance. There was just one condition: no one would know in advance that he was the guest performer. Secrecy was possible. Like Depp, Jesse knew how to buy privacy when he needed to. Also in his favor was the fact that over the past two years he'd kept a low profile, living and working primarily in New York. He didn't believe in inviting the paparazzi to follow his every move like some stars did.

Over the past few weeks Kurt and Jesse had been busy plotting their strategy and tonight was the implementation of phase one. His band for the engagement was selected from personal friends and they'd rehearsed in his loft in the weeks prior to the competition. Everything was in place, but for the first time in a very long time Jesse felt nervous. This was going to need to be the performance of a lifetime and so much hinged on the plan running smoothly, and on their gauging Rachel's reactions correctly. His cell phone vibrated and he checked the text. So far all was going well.

Jesse distracted himself by watching the choirs' performances and critiquing them as if he was part of the judging panel. By the end of the competition he could say without bias that New Directions from Lima deserved to win. Their talent was still developing but it was undeniable. They exuded joy mixed with the precision of a well rehearsed group. It was as if someone had combined the best aspects of New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline from the year he had won his fourth show choir championship.

As the judges left their seats to deliberate, Jesse made his way to the wings, taking a quick glance to where Kurt was seated and then to the woman next to him. She was so beautiful she took his breath away, but now wasn't the time to dwell on that. Jesse refocused and prepared to take the stage. Let the show begin.

)))))))

Rachel was in awe of her choir's performance. She was so proud of them and what they'd accomplished in less than a year. Kurt had squeezed her hand and grinned like a lunatic at her when they had finished and the crowd had risen in a standing ovation. Though basking in the glow of pride, a small voice inside her head was growing louder. It kept asking her: why wasn't she on a stage singing and doing what she loved to do the most?

For a moment her joy dimmed as she contemplated that not only did Finn not like her coaching Glee club, he also refused to come watch her choir practice or compete. In fact he begrudged any time she spent with them. Thus it had been no surprise that he'd conveniently had to go out of state this weekend on business. Over the past few months Rachel found herself growing increasingly unhappy with the state of her marriage. Why was it okay for him to pursue his career and not okay for her? Why was she expected to be supportive of him but he was either derogatory or cavalier about her interests?

She looked at Kurt sitting beside her. He and Blaine were so supportive of each other. They were pursuing their dreams in New York. She should have been there too. Where or where had it all gone so wrong?

Kurt patted her hand and she smiled weakly at him. He had been such a good friend to her, in fact he and Blaine were her only real friends. Her mind was diverted from its sad reflections as the judges left to deliberate and the crowd settled down for the introduction of the special guest performer.

All the blood seemed to simultaneously freeze in her veins and rush to her head when she heard the words Jesse St. James. What was he doing here? He was famous; he didn't need to come back to Ohio. Was he deliberately flaunting his success and enjoying her failure? Rachel's mouth tightened into a grim line and she crossed her arms across her chest.

Kurt glanced sideways at Rachel and noted her defensive posture. He'd hoped she wouldn't take Jesse's appearance this way, but both he and Jesse realized it was a distinct probability.

Rachel leaned over and hissed to him, "Why is he here?"

"I expect it is because he was asked. " Kurt replied soothingly, and patted her arm in reassurance.

Rachel uttered a humph, settled back in her seat, and glared at the man now walking towards the microphone. It didn't help her mood one bit to note that he was even more attractive now then he had been at twenty. The black t-shirt and tight jeans merely helped to emphasize just how fit and sexy he was, and his curly hair was a tiny bit on the long side, just the way she liked it. When he took the mike in hand and smiled, her stomach did a complete flip, which only served to anger her more. How dare he still have that effect on her!

"It is an honor and privilege to have been asked to perform here tonight." Jesse began. "It has reminded me of one of the best times of my life; when my hopes and dreams were all before me, almost within my grasp. I'll be honest; there were some hard times after that. The entertainment industry is a harsh business, and not everyone will succeed in making it as a career. But at the very least, participating in show choir will give you a foundation to work successfully towards future goals, whatever those goals turn out to be. And for those truly gifted ones, who have the passion, talent and the work ethic, it is so worth the struggle. To those ones in particular, I'd like to say: Don't ever let anyone tell you that your goals are unrealistic or crazy, or that they are unachievable. Don't let them convince you that you should settle for a mundane existence and the so called normal 9 to 5 life. To have the talent and not use it will stifle your soul. Reach for your dreams, reach for the stars, and you will have no regrets. "

And with that introduction, Jesse began to sing "To Dream the Impossible Dream" a capella.

Kurt was watching Rachel closely out of the corner of his eye, and noted immediately when the tears began streaming down her cheeks. He quietly handed her his monogrammed handkerchief and put his arm around her. She turned towards him and quietly snuffled into his shoulder. Kurt knew she wanted to escape, and the teenage Rachel would have exited with a dramatic flourish; but the adult Rachel had her position as Show Choir Director to uphold. Her students were sitting in the audience, she couldn't make a scene. Besides, Jesse was in very fine voice and Kurt was well aware how captivated Rachel had always been by Jesse's voice.

Slowly, Rachel soft sobs diminished. By the time Jesse had ended the song, she had regained her composure somewhat. As the audience applauded loudly she blew her nose as inconspicuously as possible and then settled more calmly into her seat to enjoy the show.

Jesse was then joined on stage by a small group of musicians and his next song was humorous, deliberately chosen to lighten the mood. For the next forty minutes he proceeded to cover a variety of song styles ranging from Broadway to rock and roll, all interspersed with amusing commentary. He had the audience totally enthralled and in what seemed no time at all, the time for his final song approached.

"It's been a great pleasure to be here, and to close I'd like to finish with a song that was performed at my last regional choir competition," Jesse paused, then grinned and added, "But not by my team. It was sung by our worthy opponents that year, New Directions. Their choir had one of the most gifted female vocalists it has ever been my pleasure to hear. I see that she's in the audience tonight, along with one of her talented teammates from that year, and I'd like to invite them up on stage for this song. Kurt? Rachel? Would you please do me the honor of joining me on stage?"

Rachel turned to Kurt in shock. What was Jesse doing? Kurt pretended to be just as surprised as she was, but stood up and waved as the crowd applauded politely. "You know I never give up an opportunity to perform in front of an audience and neither do you. Let's show them how it's done!" Kurt gently but firmly pulled Rachel out of her seat and propelled her towards the stage. Mikes were distributed to them as they ascended the steps at the side of the stage, and Jesse met them at the top. After shaking Kurt's hand and giving Rachel a quick hug, he signaled the band and the intro to "Don't Stop Believing" began to play as they made their way to center stage.

Just as both Kurt and Jesse had counted on, Rachel was seduced by the stage and the music. As Rachel's and Jesse's voices began weaving their magic, Kurt was content to join in on the chorus and leave the rest of the performance in their more than capable hands. When the last notes died away, Rachel came out of her near trance and realized the audience were all on their feet cheering. After they took their bows together, Jesse made Rachel take a bow by herself. They crowd whistled and cheered even louder, demanding more.

Jesse grinned and took the mike in hand once more. "Would you like to hear Rachel sing another song? I know she's wickedly good on this one." There was more applause and cheers, and her students were chanting "Rachel, Rachel." Rachel blushed then looked at Jesse in slight confusion. He mouthed "Defying Gravity" to her and after a brief hesitation, she smiled and nodded.

As the words poured forth, Rachel grew more and more empowered by them. She'd been like a plant deprived of proper light for too long and was finally receiving the sunshine necessary to grow, to bloom. Kurt and Jesse stood back and watched in admiration as the Rachel they knew emerged bit by bit. Again the audience applauded wildly, but Jesse, much to his regret had to wind things up as he'd received the signal that the judges were returning to their seats.

"I see the judges have reached their decision, so I won't be cruel and prolong the suspense. To the choirs participating, I wish you all good luck, not just tonight but in whatever paths you take. Thank-you again, it's been wonderful."

As they made their way off stage with the applause still ringing in their ears, Jesse turned to Rachel. "You were brilliant as ever, Rachel" and gave her another hug. He had missed this so much, the way she felt in his arms, the way she smelt like sunshine and raindrops, but he had no right to hold her. Regretfully he pulled away and turned to Kurt to shake his hand once more. "Please don't go anywhere you two, I have a couple of things I need to take care of, but I'd like to spend some time getting caught up."

They both nodded and Jesse went over to converse with one of committee organizers.

Still feeling the performance high, Kurt turned to Rachel, "I believe that in just a few minutes you'll be accepting a trophy with your choir. "

"Do you really think so? It's only my first year coaching them, but weren't they terrific." Rachel bubbled with enthusiasm. Kurt hadn't seen her this happy in years.

"If New Directions doesn't win it will be a travesty. And you! You were just amazing out there. " Kurt enveloped Rachel in a big hug and swung her off her feet. "Tell me again why you aren't a star on Broadway? Oh wait, the answer is two words, the first word starts with the letter F, and the second word with an H." As soon as the sarcastic words were uttered, Kurt mentally kicked himself. Damn it! He just hadn't been able to resist uttering that barbed comment. He closed his eyes and waited for Rachel to leap to Finn's defense as per usual. But no words were uttered. He opened his eyes in surprise and looked at her. Rachel was gazing out at the audience, a pensive expression on her face.

"Tell me the truth, Kurt. Has Finn been deliberately sabotaging my dreams?"

"Will you believe me if I tell you yes?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

Rachel chewed her lip for a moment then gazed up at him. "Maybe. Maybe I'm ready to listen properly this time at least."

But their conversation was suddenly interrupted, as the volcano known to them as one Santana Lopez erupted into their private conversation.

"Hummel, beat it, I need to speak with Berry for a moment. Alone." Santana glared at Kurt and he cast a quick look at Rachel. She nodded slowly so he withdrew, just far enough to be out of sound yet not sight, in case things got ugly. With Santana, one could usually count on the ugly.

"What can I do for you, Santana? And it's Hudson, not Berry, if you remember." Rachel's voice was stiff and controlled. Santana was always the bearer of bad news as far as she was concerned and there was no love lost between the two women.

"Life's been better for me recently and it's time I owned up to my mistakes. I've been in therapy and worked through a lot of issues. For some time now, I've been debating about letting you know the truth. I didn't expect to see you here though. I came to see my niece. She's in the Dayton choir." Santana paused and then asked: "have you never wondered how you managed to get pregnant your first year in college even though you were on birth control?'

Rachel stared at her in total bafflement for a moment before replying, "Because the pill isn't a hundred percent guaranteed birth control, and because my life sucks?"

"No. Well, maybe the part "your life sucks" is true, but the pregnancy was because I switched your pills and replaced them with fake ones during the Christmas party at your house. "

"You did what?" Rachel stood there in shock, not really believing what she was hearing. "But why?"

"I was still envious of you, of your plans, of your life. It was only a matter of time before you got out of Lima, and became star, while I was still stuck in loserville and miserable with everything and everyone. So when Finn asked for my help I…"

Rachel's hand was half way towards slapping Santana when her last words sank in. "Wait a minute!" Rachel's arm fell back to her side like a puppet whose strings had been cut. "My husband, suggested it?"

"Well, he was just your boyfriend then, but yeah. When he realized he had no hope of a football scholarship and getting out of this town, he was in a bad way. You were the only one who still believed in him. You hung the moon and stars on him and he knew you'd leave him behind and soon forget all about him if you went off to New York. He'd do anything to keep you with him. If it meant you had to sacrifice your dreams, then so be it. Honestly, I've never understood what you see in him. You should have kicked his sorry ass to the curb back when he stole Quinn from Sam and then played both you and Quinn. "

Rachel felt increasingly numb and sick as Santana spilled her story. "So what made you decide to tell me this now?"

"Tonight, after what St. James said, and after watching you perform, I just couldn't let it go on any longer. You deserve so much better than being Rachel Hudson of Lima, Ohio. I'm sorry for my part in ruining your life. I realize I can't expect your forgiveness, so I won't bother asking for it. But for what it's worth I hope you do reach for those stars." Santana turned to go, and then turned back again. "Just one more thing"

Rachel was still trying to grasp everything she'd just heard. "What else?" she asked, her voice now dull and broken.

"You might want to look into what Hudson gets up to when he's at one of his many business meetings out of town. Just sayin' " and with that Santana turned and left.

Kurt was by Rachel's side in a flash. He'd seen the increasing paleness of her complexion and tension in the way she held herself.

"Just what the hell did that b"

"Please, Kurt. Not now, okay?" Rachel pleaded. She leaned against him and closed her eyes. She would not cry!

Just then Jesse appeared with a sports drink in hand. He too had been observing Rachel from a distance. "Here, you'd better drink this, Rachel."

"No." she turned her head away.

"Please, Rachel, you are as white as a sheet. If you are going into shock you need to drink something sweet immediately. Just a few sips for now, it will help, I promise. They've just asked New Directions and two other teams to come on stage. You wouldn't want to pass out on stage and worry your students would you?"

Jesse's last words penetrated through the haze that had descended over her. "No, no of course not. I can't let my kids down." She grabbed the bottle and took a few sips, then a few more. The weakness in her limbs began to lessen somewhat after a couple of minutes and her mind regained some clarity. Kurt and Jesse exchanged a look, and though neither spoke, it was a foregone conclusion that Kurt would accompany Rachel on stage.

The next half hour was a blur to Rachel. She was vaguely aware of her choir winning, the screams, the hugs and the flashes from cameras going off as pictures were taken. But it all seemed like some kind of dream. The evening had been like a Greek comedy and tragedy rolled into one and she was emotionally spent.


	3. Chapter 3

Defying Gravity chapter 3

While Kurt had been keeping an eye on Rachel, Jesse had been busy making arrangements for the New Directions choir to be suitably looked after, explaining that Mrs. Hudson had a migraine starting and needed to rest. He encountered no difficulties. Everyone was only too willing to oblige Jesse St. James, and anyone looking at Rachel could see that she was obviously not well.

Not knowing exactly what the situation was, he decided it was best if he kept his distance. However, he did arrange for accommodation for Kurt and Rachel and a way to get there as unobtrusively as possible. Rachel obviously needed some privacy and time to recoup. The text messages flew back and forth between Kurt and him, the last one ending with a request for Kurt to call him later and Kurt responding that he'd phone at breakfast. Jesse then made sure he was highly visible by spending the remainder of the night and well into the early hours, conversing with members of the Show Choir Committee before departing to his hotel room and falling into bed around three in the morning.

He was awakened a few hours later by the sound of his cell phone. It was Kurt.

"How's Rachel?" were the first words out of Jesse's mouth followed by "and what the hell happened to send her into shock like that?"

"She's asleep, thanks to a couple of sleeping pills. As to what happened, well who would have predicted Lopez would grow a conscience and tell Rachel everything? We're lucky that Rachel was starting to question Finn's behavior. She was just asking me if I thought Finn was sabotaging her dreams when Santana arrived on the scene. You know, I think if this had happened a year ago, she would have called Santana a liar. Coaching the Glee club successfully has been good for her self-esteem. So did her getting a chance to shine in the spotlight tonight and sing to an appreciative audience. I believe the biggest shock was her finding out just how far Finn would stoop to keep her attached to him. In any case there's no way Rachel's going back to Lima in the foreseeable future. She needs some time to deal with all that's happened and decide what she wants."

"I wish I could have been there last night for her. I wanted to do more; I just didn't think it would be wise to draw undue attention to the situation." Jesse muttered in frustration.

"I'm very grateful for the way you handled it, Jesse. That's one of the reasons I needed to talk to you this morning. " Kurt paused and chose his words carefully. He didn't think Jesse would like what he was next about to say. "Look Jesse, I know you want to be more involved but, because of what happened, you really need to distance yourself. It's best that we don't give Finn any cause to believe that you had a share in Rachel's disappearance. There's enough bad blood between the two of you as it is. Once he hears that you were singing at Regionals and that you had us up on stage singing with you, he'll likely go ballistic. No need to make it worse. I'm willing to take the brunt of the blame and Finn's wrath, it's the least I can do. You've already helped tremendously but you need to keep a low profile now."

For a long moment there was nothing but dead silence on the line, and then Jesse gave a defeated sounding sigh. "I know you're right but it doesn't mean I have to like it. Will you at least tell me what your plans are?"

"Of course." Kurt was relieved that Jesse wasn't going to be difficult. It seemed that in Jesse's world, what was best for Rachel was priority. "Blaine is catching an early flight here. He'll stay with Rachel while I drive to Lima to pick up some of her clothes and any items that are particularly important to her. She wrote a note for me to leave for Finn as well. After I get back from Lima we'll catch a flight back to New York. I'm arranging for a private investigator to tail Finn and let us know his movements. Although he's not due back to Lima until late Sunday night, we don't want any surprises. The bigger the head start we have the better. "

Kurt opted not to tell Jesse about Santana's cryptic last words to Rachel. There was no proof yet that Finn had been cheating but he'd ask the PI to look into that as well. If something did turn up? Well then that would provide Rachel with some extra leverage if she chose to start divorce proceedings. In the meantime the less Jesse knew about that the better. Kurt was quite sure that Jesse would be furious and that could lead to hasty actions he would regret later.

"And once you reach New York?" Jesse prompted.

Jesse's question brought Kurt out of his momentary inattention. "We're going to stay at a friend's place for a few weeks to give Rachel some time to come to terms with recent events and decide what she wants; we have a lot of friends who will be only too happy to help protect her if necessary. "

"Well, it looks like you've got everything under control and I'm totally superfluous. If you or Rachel need anything, and I do mean anything, you just have to ask. And don't forget to keep me updated with regular reports or I swear I'll hunt you down, Hummel."

"Understood, St. James. I'll be in touch soon."

Jesse tossed his phone onto the night table and slid back under the sheets. He hated this feeling of being powerless, and knowing that she would be in New York only made it all the more frustrating. He wanted to sweep in like a knight in shining armor and make everything right for her. He wanted to show her his city, help her reach the stars. But deep in his heart he knew getting involved further would be the worst thing he could do. The paparazzi would at first be interested, and then they'd dig up every piece of dirt they could and go into a feeding frenzy, creating scandals and stories if the truth wasn't juicy enough. All the losses she'd suffered from the time he'd brought Shelby into her life until now, plus her toxic relationship with Finn had shattered her confidence. Rachel didn't need her life put under a microscope for all the world to see too.

Even more than that, Rachel didn't need others taking over her life or trying to fix her. She needed time to find herself, to become the woman she was meant to be; only Rachel could fix Rachel. Jesse just hoped that the brief moments when she'd been on stage the previous evening would help her move forward and feed the flame of her talent that had been reignited. At least she had Kurt and Blaine to encourage and support her as was needed. She was in good hands which afforded him some small degree of comfort.

Realizing that he simply was not going to be able to go back to sleep, Jesse got up and arranged to catch the next flight back to New York. While he packed he considered his options. His contract in the current production was ending and he'd recently been offered a role in a London West End play. It was a good role and an opportunity to stretch his talents. It would also keep him from succumbing to the temptation to see Rachel, to be with Rachel. If he started making the arrangements immediately, with a bit of luck, he'd only be in New York a few more weeks before leaving for England.

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(Ten days later in New York)

Jesse was leisurely removing his stage makeup when the door to his dressing room burst open. Reflected in his mirror was the image of one very angry Finn Hudson and right behind him one of backstage security guards who was yelling "Sir, you are not allowed back here!"

"Jeff, you can wait outside the door. He's an old high school acquaintance. I'll call if I need you." Jesse calmly told the security guard.

"I'll be right outside if you need me, Mr. St. James." Jeff glanced distrustfully at Finn before exiting.

"Well, well, well, to what do I owe the honor of your visit? You're the last person I expected to see at any play I was in. Did Rachel drag you here by your oversized ears?" Jesse continued to remove the makeup, talking to Finn's reflection in the mirror.

"Where is she?" Finn was advancing towards Jesse, his hands balled into fists, face flushed with anger.

"Where is who? Do you mean Rachel? Have you misplaced her? I can assure you she isn't in my dressing room, in fact I had no idea you were in the audience. I haven't seen nor spoken to Rachel since Regionals in Ohio. "

"I don't believe you! I get home last Sunday and there's no Rachel, just a note saying she needed some time away to decide what to do about our marriage. Then I learn you were at Regionals and the two of you performed together on stage. I haven't seen or heard from her since. You expect me to believe you don't know where she is?" Finn was practically snarling as he spoke.

Jesse stood unhurriedly and slowly turned to face Finn. "Look, whether you believe me or not is not my problem, it's yours. I have not seen nor spoken with Rachel since the Regionals competition. In fact, other than singing with her and Kurt on stage, I doubt Rachel and I exchanged more than five sentences. The last I saw of her was when she was on stage with her choir when they won first place." He uttered his words calmly; there was nothing to be gained by poking at the beast at this precise moment.

Finn eyed Jesse suspiciously, but Jesse refused to be intimidated and stared Finn down. He'd been expecting this and was prepared for it. Once Finn had heard about the events at Regionals it was a certainty that, in a fit of jealously, he'd jump to conclusions. Finn was so predictable.

"So why didn't Rachel tell me you were going to be at Regionals? She kept that a secret from me. What were you two planning? How long has this been going on?" Finn demanded.

Jesse took a deep breath to reign in the anger that had boiled up Finn's accusations regarding Rachel's fidelity. "My being the guest performer that night was a secret, period. No one was to know. It wasn't a complete certainty that I would be able to make it so they had another person lined up just in case." That was also true, should Finn think to check the story out. However, taking into consideration Finn's intelligence , it wasn't likely he would, Jesse thought to himself.

Jesse continued:"Rachel had no idea I would be there. Why would she? We haven't been in touch since she made the obvious, though completely incomprehensible decision I might add, that she preferred you to me! " Then he added derisively, "Unlike you, I don't pursue other guys' girlfriends. I also make it a policy to never get involved with married women. I may be a lot of things that you don't like, Hudson, but I do have some standards. "

An expression of guilt and shame momentarily crossed Finn's face and Jesse's eyes narrowed in suspicion. If Finn had gone to such extremes to keep Rachel, surely he wouldn't have cheated on her, would he? As he couldn't imagine why anyone lucky enough to be married to Rachel would even want to cheat on her, Jesse promptly dismissed the suspicion; Finn was just likely recalling his high school behavior. In any case, it was time to deliver the coup de grace.

"The only thing I can tell you is that after Rachel came off stage from singing, I noticed a dark haired woman talking to her. Whatever she told Rachel seemed to really upset Rachel. If Kurt hadn't accompanied her when the judges called the choirs back on stage, I think she would have collapsed. I did arrange for someone to look after her choir that evening and book rooms for her and Kurt because I was concerned, but I had other commitments to fulfill so I didn't see Rachel or Kurt after that."

Jesse watched as Finn's anger and bravado began to deflate right before his eyes. Gone now was the raging animal and in its place stood a broken man, with a look of hopelessness in his bloodshot eyes.

"A dark haired woman?" Finn asked bleakly. "Do you know who she was?

For an instant, Jesse thought about the delicious revenge he could unleash on Santana if he revealed her name. But then again, letting Finn stew in uncertainty was far more satisfying. Besides, Jesse hadn't technically seen her except from a distance. He had only Kurt's word that it had indeed been Santana and so he had no qualms in saying: "I was some distance away at the time and I had no reason to believe I'd know her. Why would I? I haven't been back to Ohio in years."

"Oh." Finn seemed now at a loss. He rubbed his hand behind his neck, and then awkwardly shuffled his feet. "I guess I owe you an apology. It just seemed that when you turned up and Rachel disappeared that, well, you know…" Finn's words ground to a halt. He'd never been the greatest conversationalist even at the best of times.

"Look, Hudson, you and I are never going to be friends, so I'm going to be blunt. Frankly, I was dismayed to find that Rachel was still in Lima and had settled for being a teacher. She should be here in New York taking Broadway by storm. On that stage in Dayton she was just as amazing as ever, the crowd loved her. Even if she has insisted on marrying a dimwit such as yourself, it doesn't explain why you two aren't living in New York. It was always Rachel's plan to pursue that when she graduated from high school. There was no reason you couldn't have come to New York with her."

Finn visibly bristled. "We decided Lima was all we needed and besides it's a good place to raise a family. Rachel loves me. We're tethered together."

"What?"Jesse could not believe his ears. "Excuse me, but did you just say you two were 'tethered together'? "

"Yeah, it's... it's how I heard love described once and it totally made sense about how I feel about Rachel."

"Who on earth described love being like that?"

"Coach Sue."

"Right, Sue Sylvester, the "epitome" of sanity." Jesse shook his head in complete disbelief, "and you believed that nutcase? You don't tether someone you love. Rachel's not some pet dog you keep chained up!"

Finn ducked his head and mumbled something unintelligible.

Jesse ignored the interruption, he was on a roll and the words just kept coming. "You know it looks to me that Rachel gave up her plans to go to New York and attend a prestigious college, gave up her goal to be a performer on Broadway, and even went so far as to bury her talent, all for you. She has sacrificed everything to be your obediently devoted lapdog. This is your idea of a loving and supportive relationship? Tell me, what precisely have you done for her or given up for her, Hudson?"

Finn opened his mouth to reply but no words came.

"Exactly. I'm going to call it as I see it. I think you are generally adrift and unhappy in your life. Your marriage has problems because you take and take, and Rachel gives and gives. You must have really done something unforgivable if Rachel has left you, Hudson, because the Rachel I knew was loyal to a fault when it came to anything concerning you. If you really love Rachel, although quite frankly I doubt you even know the meaning of the word love, you need to leave matters in her hands and abide by her decision, even if that comes at a personal cost to you. "

"But what if I lose her forever? Rachel's the only really good thing in my life!"

"You can't build your life entirely around one person, Hudson. Do you think it didn't hurt me to lose the only girl I've ever really loved? But love means you want the best for that person. Even if you disagree with their decision, it is still their decision to make! Trying to tether or cage Rachel was always going to end badly. Either she would gradually wither away, growing in bitter resentment day by day, or she would break free of the leash."

"So you think I should just give up?" Finn frowned in confusion at the idea.

"I think you have to give Rachel time and space so she can come to a decision and then support her decision. In the meantime you need to decide what else is important in your life aside from Rachel. Find something you have a passion for and strive for it. Find out who Finn Hudson is."

"And what will you be doing, St. James, if I back off and give Rachel the time and space? I bet you'll waste no time in making your moves, trying to convince her that you are so much better for her." The accusatory tone was back in his voice.

"I am better for her than you and it would take very little convincing, in part thanks to how you've dismissed her dreams and goals as of little consequence. However, as I stated earlier, even if you two are separated she's still legally married which puts her off limits as far as I'm concerned. Besides, I'm not going to be in New York much longer. Next week I leave for a role in London's West End. So you can rest easy, Hudson."

Finn looked at Jesse in disbelief. "You are going away now? When you have the perfect chance with Rachel?"

Jesse sighed deeply and then frustratedly tugged his hand through his curls. "You just don't get it do you, Hudson. Haven't you ever heard the adage 'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours, if they don't, they never were?' I don't own Rachel, you don't own Rachel. She has the right to decide on her future without interference from you or me. This is where you and I differ. All I want is for Rachel to be happy and whatever it takes for that to happen, I'm okay with it."

Finn seemed to chew that over for a few minutes before replying. "Okay, we let Rachel decide and we stay out of it."

"I will if you will, Hudson. Now, I really see no reason to continue this discussion, do you? I have fans patiently waiting at the stage door and I'd like to change out of my costume, so if you don't mind? "

"Right. Ok. Yeah, I'll find my way out. "

Jesse heaved a sigh of relief as Finn left. He'd update Kurt later. For now he was just glad that was over. It might be too much to hope for but maybe some of his words penetrated that oaf's thick skull.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Thank-you for all the reviews, they really help me to see if I'm succeeding (or not) in telling this story.**

**Well this chapter was the one I struggled with. I also now know way more about different state divorce laws and procedures than I ever wanted to. I edited it with a nasty headache so I hope there's not too many mistakes. **

Defying Gravity Chapter 4

Rachel spent the first few weeks living in a beautiful three story house in East Hampton. It was owned by Blaine's favorite cousin and both Kurt and Blaine stayed there with her. Since Kurt had brought his work with him, and Blaine was between jobs, they were always available for her. However, other than seeing to it that she ate properly, got some exercise each day, and didn't lock herself up in her room crying for hours, they let her deal with things in her own way and time.

For the first few days, her only concern had been her students and especially her show choir. How would they ever be ready for Nationals without her? Kurt suspected focusing on the Glee Club had been the only way her mind could deal with the situation with Finn until it was ready to address it; she was still in shock. He did his best to reassure her that New Directions would be fine because he'd contacted Shelby and she had agreed to leave California temporarily to take over their coaching. (He'd laid a major guilt trip on her mother, but Rachel didn't need to know about that. ) Finally, the daily updates and semi-weekly videos that she got from Shelby, along with an interchange of ideas passed via Kurt had set Rachel's mind at ease. Aside from the Glee Club matter though, Rachel had seemed perfectly happy to cut herself completely off from everyone and everything in Ohio.

Kurt glanced up from his sketches and assessed his friend. She had just finished swimming her daily laps and was now unpinning her hair and brushing it out. He'd noticed her taking more and more of an interest in her surroundings and life in general over the past few days and he was hoping that she might soon be ready for the next step in recovery.

Rachel dangled her feet in the pool while she brushed out her hair, and thought for at least the hundredth time how lucky she was to have Kurt and Blaine as her friends. They listened when she needed to talk, and offered their shoulders to cry on when she needed to cry, although the tears hadn't really started until the numbness wore off around the middle of the first week. After the tears had come the anger; anger not just at Finn but also at herself for allowing her dreams and plans to be derailed.

Rachel set her brush down, and lay back on her towel. Gazing unseeingly at the ceiling murals, she once more tried to make sense of where it had gone wrong. Free from Finn's influence and all the sad memories of Lima had enabled her to review the past more objectively lately. She decided it all really started in high school. True, she'd never been popular at school but McKinley had been a very rude awakening. So when Finn joined Glee Club she'd created this fantasy world where she would have the perfect boyfriend (a popular jock), take the Glee Club to victory (with him as her leading man) and go on to achieve the perfect career and have the perfect family with him. When life hadn't behaved according to her script, instead of acknowledging it she'd just crawled deeper into that fantasy. By the end of her junior year she'd become a needy, unfocused person, always relying on others to validate her as a human being. In her senior year she had become so frightened that she wouldn't be good enough for a future on Broadway that she'd allowed her fears to lead her into making poor choices.

She hadn't yet been mature enough nor confident enough to dismiss the fantasy and refocus on her goals, and then she'd lost her Dads in a tragic accident. Shelby had never and would never be the mother she'd needed in her life and so to lose the two people who had loved her and consistently supported her had sent her into a tailspin. Though Kurt had tried to be there for her, he also was dealing with his own relationship and self-confidence issues so no one had really realized how very scared and depressed she was. Finn had offered himself as a rock for her to cling to and she'd done just that. It was easier and less frightening just to let him make the decisions. Rachel grimaced in disgust, just look where that had gotten her! Well, at least she had finally lost her rose colored spectacles. Real life wasn't a fairytale and it didn't follow a script. Even though she once again yearned to be a star on Broadway she was no longer under the illusion that it would be easy. In fact she might never achieve stardom, although Jesse still seemed to believe in her ability to do so.

Jesse. He had done her a big favor when he'd asked her and Kurt to sing on that stage. But why had he? Even if it had been mostly subconsciously, she had treated him very poorly by using him at Prom and afterwards to get Finn back. Her behavior on stage at Nationals with Finn had been wrong professionally and thoughtless. If she was brutally honest with herself, and she'd been trying to be just that over the past few weeks, she owed Jesse an apology. Jesse had always believed in her. Even when they'd hurt each other he had never dismissed her talent or made her feel inadequate. She now felt a great need to talk to him and apologize, but she didn't know how to get in touch with him. Her only contact with Jesse since Dayton had been the package Kurt had given her early last week. The padded envelope without a return address had contained a CD and a brief note which she now knew off by heart. It read:

Dearest Rachel:

I know that life hasn't turned out the way you expected. But I have faith that Rachel Berry will emerge from the tragedy like a phoenix from the ashes and become the star she is meant to be.

I hope you will find some inspiration in these songs.

Your biggest fan

Jesse

The CD had been comprised of songs recorded at the concert in Akron and a few others that he'd added. Rachel played the CD at least twice a day since she'd received it. Each time she played it, she felt a little bit stronger and found a little more of the Rachel she had once been.

It was now nearing the end of her third week here and restlessness was setting in. Sure she had free access to the considerable library and its incredible music and DVD collection, as well as the internet and the pool and the gym. Most evenings were spent with the three of them having a movie night in the home theater room and Rachel enjoyed that too. But she was ready for a change, ready to start a fresh page in her life. She stood up and padded barefoot into the sunroom just off the pool.

"Kurt."

"Hmm?" Kurt looked up from his drawing and he immediately noticed the change in Rachel. There was a definite sense of energy about her and the hint of a sparkle in her big brown eyes. He cocked his head to one side and waited for her to continue.

"Don't you think it's time you and Blaine showed me New York? I need to start exploring about my new home and getting on with my life."

A wide grin spread across his face and he jumped up and spun her around. "Welcome back, Rachel Barbra Berry."

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Rachel set aside the bank statement she'd just finished reading and made a note to transfer some more funds into savings. Thanks to her Dads' planning she hadn't had to worry about the expense of living in New York. Their life insurance policy and the trust fund they'd established for her looked after her living expenses and further education, and when she turned twenty-five, the entire fund would become available to her. Now with the house sold in Ohio, she was in an even better financial situation.

For a few months after arriving in New York, she had lived with Kurt and Blaine in their apartment. But it was much too small for three people to live in, especially when two of the three were prone to be just a little overly dramatic at times. Blaine had been looking a bit stressed after awhile. So when Kurt had heard that an apartment owner on the next floor was looking to sublet for twelve months she had pounced on the opportunity. For a moment Rachel paused in her reminiscing and surveyed her space. It was a small apartment, a bit more muted in tones than she would have chosen but otherwise it suited her perfectly. Her gaze landed with pride on the shelves which displayed her trophies and awards. After she'd married Finn, they had been boxed and stored in the basement of the Lima house. Now they were once more displayed to remind her of her goals.

As for those goals, the first thing she had done when she'd arrived in New York was apply to the summer drama and musical theater program. Her interview/audition had gone extremely well. Ironically, she supposed she had the past few unhappy years to thank for the added emotional depth in her audition pieces. Within a few weeks she'd been notified that she'd been accepted into the summer program. It had been exciting summer and she had learned a lot, but when the course ended she had decided to forgo more formal education. She instead concentrated on taking private lessons in singing and dance as well as attending acting workshops when they were offered.

Now it would soon be spring and she had one major item on her to do list still to deal with. It was to land a part in a musical, no matter how small the part might be. Having regained her confidence in her abilities she had begun auditioning in earnest at open casting calls over the previous two months. Though she hadn't landed a role yet, she had got callbacks on a few of them.

Rachel pulled her gold starred audition binder out of the drawer. She kept meticulous notes on what she wore, what part she auditioned for, anyone she met during the auditions and any critique received. She wanted to be prepared for anything and everything. Opening to the last entry she reviewed her notes once more. She had tried not to appear too eager at yesterday's second callback, but what If she hadn't appeared eager enough? The musical was a modern one written by a young and upcoming writer/composer. It was his first off-Broadway production and Rachel really really wanted the part. She sighed and closed the binder. There was no point in worrying over it. If she had learned one thing over the past few years it was that there were far worse things in life then losing a part.

She then reached over and picked up the envelope she had been studiously trying to avoid ever since the courier had delivered it earlier that morning. The scrawled writing on the outside had been immediately recognizable and she had turned it over a few times before setting it aside on her desktop. She still wasn't sure she was ready to read what Finn had to say.

When Finn had arrived back in Lima to find she'd left him he had repeatedly tried to contact her on her cell, but Kurt was deftly fielding all her calls. Then Finn had tried phoning Kurt numerous times, but Kurt had refused to talk to Finn other than to say he was very disappointed in Finn and that Rachel would be in touch when she was ready and not a moment before. Rachel changed her cell number upon moving in with Kurt and Blaine but surprisingly the calls on Kurt's phone had stopped well before that. Even stranger still, Finn hadn't descended upon the apartment like they fully expected him to.

During those three weeks in East Hampton she had reached the decision to initiate divorce proceedings. The private investigator's report, along with Santana's confession regarding the birth control pills had completely destroyed any chance of reconciliation. Finn had taken her idealized love for him and shredded it into a million pieces; it could not be put back together again. Waiting a year to obtain residency in New York before filing for divorce was simply unacceptable to her and so, after legal consultation and getting all the preliminary work done, she had made a secret trip back to Lima. There she had completed the documents and filed the papers to start divorce proceedings. She spent another week visiting Quinn in Columbus before returning to New York.

But while in Lima she had also posted one letter to Finn. It had been short and to the point. In it she detailed exactly what she knew he'd done, informed him of divorce proceedings on the grounds of adultery and given him two options. He could either make the divorce messy by contesting it or he could agree to a no-fault dissolution of marriage. If the latter, she'd stop the current paper work and they could end their marriage as amicably as possible with a joint petition. Either way he had to accept that their marriage was over. She'd enclosed her lawyer's name and address and awaited Finn's reply.

Finn hadn't contested and the majority of the settling of matters had taken place via correspondence through her lawyer. As the house had been her inheritance prior to their marriage she got to keep it. Other than it, she kept only photos, music and mementos that she still wanted; Finn was welcome to the rest. By late November the marriage was dissolved, and she had put the house up for sale. Now, there was nothing left in Lima for her to return to. She was setting down roots in New York where she knew she belonged.

The last time she'd seen Finn had been when they'd appeared before the court together at the final hearing. They had exchanged no more than the basic civilities, so why the letter from Finn now? Reluctantly Rachel slit open the envelope and began to read.

Sometime later, after she had reread the letter twice, she folded it up neatly and filed it away with the legal documents. In a somewhat pensive frame of mind she began getting ready for her dance class. It was then that she got the phone call from one of the directors she'd auditioned for the previous day.

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In his parked rental car, Finn was trying to get comfortable. He'd been sitting for some hours now but he didn't dare get out and walk around in case Rachel appeared. Some might think what he was doing was kind of stalkerish, but in fact it was nothing like that. He just needed to see Rachel and reassure himself.

When she'd first walked out on him he had panicked. His worst nightmare had come true and he hadn't known what to do. He couldn't reach her on her phone and Kurt refused to give him any real information. So he had made some inquiries at McKinley and that's when he'd heard the details of Jesse St. James and Rachel performing together at the Regionals, which in turn had led him straight to New York. Forcing his way into Jesse's dressing room and confronting the actor had not had the results he'd expected. The next day he'd phoned Kurt's office only to be told that Kurt was currently out of the city and not expected in for some weeks. After wasting the day and part of the night watching Kurt & Blaine's apartment building, he'd had to admit defeat and returned back to Lima.

Over the next few days he'd had time to think over what St. James had told him. He hadn't for a moment believed that Jesse would really leave New York with Rachel there, but when he saw the announcement on one of those entertainment programs he'd had been forced to believe that Jesse had been telling the truth. St. James was keeping his word and staying away from Rachel, and Finn Hudson would not be outdone by St. Jerk. He'd stay away too and let Rachel decide.

During the following week Finn had plenty of time to think about things, and Jesse's other words kept repeating themselves over and over in his brain. He also thought about his mother's marriage to Burt and how it compared to his and Rachel's. He thought about how his Mom would feel if Burt cheated on her or had done the things he had done to Rachel. They were all uncomfortable thoughts to think but they seemed to be stuck in his brain. Finally Finn thought he had begun to understand what Jesse meant.

He expected to feel miserable but he hadn't expected to also feel relieved. He was pretty sure that Santana had told Rachel about the pills and whatever else she knew, and it was a relief that there were no more lies eating him up inside. He sort of missed Rachel, but he didn't miss her prattling on about things he didn't understand half the time anyway. He also liked being able to eat the foods he liked without feeling guilty.

A few weeks later when he'd received Rachel's letter about divorce proceedings he knew it was over. He went to visit his Mom and Burt one weekend and finally admitted his mistakes and showed them Rachel's letter. He hated disappointing them again but they had had a good talk and they reassured him that letting Rachel go was for the best.

The dissolving of the marriage had been pretty easy-just some assets to be divided and papers to sign. He didn't really know what to say to Rachel that day in court so he hadn't said much at all. But over the past months he'd felt something was still unfinished, which had led him first to write the letter and now to be sitting in a car across from her apartment building.

He wondered if she'd read his letter yet. It had been a difficult letter to write but he owed her that much. Somehow, putting down in words the way he'd felt, the things he'd done and his apology to her had removed a huge weight of his shoulders; a weight that he'd been carrying for for a long time but just hadn't realized it.

He still wasn't quite sure why he'd treated her like that. The cheating on her with other women hadn't started until she began teaching school and coaching Glee; when he could see her gaining back some confidence. But the more he cheated, the guiltier he felt and the more their marriage suffered. He'd always feared he wasn't smart enough, talented enough or good enough for her and in some twisted way he then had gone and done things that had proved it. He hated to admit it, but St. James had been right. It couldn't be called love when you didn't care about what was really best for the other person, when you did things to destroy their happiness.

Just at that moment he saw Rachel finally emerge from the apartment building. She was in a hurry but even from across the street, Finn could see there was a bounce in her step and she looked both excited and happy. He realized he hadn't seen her look like that in a very long time, maybe not since they'd won their first Sectionals.

Finn watched until she was completely out of sight. This city was where Rachel belonged, but it would never be right for him. He knew it was time to figure out who he was and what he wanted to do with his life. He needed to prove to himself that he wasn't a loser and that he could make it on his own. Recently he'd been thinking about talking to a job counselor about career advancement. Although he enjoyed working with cars and trucks he had been thinking he'd like to work on larger equipment; maybe become a heavy duty mechanic. He decided he would start playing his drums again too. He'd cut himself off from music in an effort to hurt Rachel, but he missed that part of his life and in the end he'd just ended up hurting himself too. Feeling somewhat heartened by having seen that Rachel was happy, and by the decisions he'd reached, Finn turned on the ignition. It was time to start the long drive to Lima; time to go home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N** **In honor of St. Berry week (this story sort of fits prompt one and three) here's the last chapter. Thanks to everyone who has accompanied me on this short journey**.

Defying Gravity Chapter 5

Jesse pulled the sleep mask off his eyes and stretched as leisurely and gracefully as a sleek panther. Just a few more hours on the plane and he would be home. As much as he had enjoyed his time in London, New York was where his heart lay both professionally and personally.

Over the past months Kurt had kept his promise and updated Jesse fairly regularly on Rachel. On the night Jesse had received the news that Rachel's divorce was final he had opened a bottle of vintage scotch to celebrate the occasion. In retrospect, Jesse was thankful he did not have Rachel's phone number, for he had gotten spectacularly drunk that night and an episode of drunk dialing would have certainly ensued. As it was he had woken up with a hazy memory of having called Kurt begging for her number. But he never mentioned it and neither had Kurt, so Jesse had almost managed to convince himself that it had never happened (in spite of the telephone bill which said otherwise.)

Even after Rachel's marriage ended Jesse had stayed on in London. For one, he had a contract to honor and for another he knew Rachel still needed the space. But now his contract in London was finished. His agent had sent him scripts for several television pilots and a movie in LA, as well as keeping him informed of upcoming roles in Broadway productions, but Jesse had yet to commit to any of them. After appearing in major productions for the past three years he wanted something riskier to tackle, and to be closer to Rachel. So when he'd received a message in January from an old friend about a new musical he was launching, Jesse had been intrigued.

Chris had been a fellow actor in the first New York play Jesse had landed a role in. Though Chris enjoyed acting, his real love lay in writing musicals and Jesse had encouraged him to pursue that passion. The advice had apparently paid off. In his spare time Chris had written a musical and had just obtained the financial backing to launch it Off-Broadway. It was now March and Chris had cast all but the lead male role. He'd found no one quite right for it. The fact was, he had admitted to Jesse during one of their recent telephone conversations, he had written the part with Jesse in mind. He knew he couldn't afford to pay Jesse his normal salary, and he didn't want to presume on their friendship, but would Jesse at least look at it?

The script and music score had arrived at Jesse's flat by courier two days later. Before he was even part way through it, Jesse knew he was hooked. It was brilliant and perfect; exactly what he was looking for. He felt it had all the potential to become a success like Spring Awakening and move into a bigger venue, providing the cast did their part and the musical got good reviews from the critics and good word of mouth. With his name attached to the production it would definitely get extra publicity and hopefully a long run like it deserved to. He and Chris had worked out a tentative agreement and now Jesse was on his way home to meet with Chris and the show's backers to finalize details at a luncheon the next day. With that thought in mind Jesse pulled the script out of his leather briefcase and spent his time reviewing his notes for the remainder of the flight.

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"Chris!" Jesse had entered the room quietly and his arrival caught his friend completely by surprise.

"Jesse! I didn't expect to see you until the luncheon today, but I should have known you'd track me down first." The two bear hugged briefly then stood back to evaluate each other.

"It's been awhile, you look good. Managed to stay away from the London ale, did you?"

"Yeah, the wardrobe mistress was evil; I didn't dare put on even a pound." Jesse grinned, then in a more serious vein added, "I know I told you this before on the phone, but the play is terrific, Chris. I knew you had it in you."

"Thanks, man. I've always appreciated your belief in my abilities and your encouragement. So, does that mean you'll do the part for free?"

"Almost."

Chris looked up at Jesse in surprise, "I was joking."

"I wasn't. Seriously, Chris I'd be honored to originate the role of Daniel. I'll take a low end salary on this one"

Chris just shook his head in disbelief. "Don't let the backers hear you say that. We can't pay your regular going rate, but you don't need to undersell yourself."

"Fair enough. So," Jesse decided it was time to broach the casting subject, "the other roles have all been cast.?" Though he didn't want to interfere, he couldn't help hoping that there might still be a part for Rachel to try out for.

"Yes, we started rehearsals last week. Mostly just going over the script, blocking scenes and preliminary rehearsing of some of the musical numbers that you aren't in. As I said on the phone, except for yourself, the cast are all virtual unknowns. I wanted to go with fresh talent; to cast people that I felt were right for the roles. It's caused some disagreements with the backers, and now that you're on board I fully expect that they'll want to recast your leading lady with someone with more experience. But they'll have to do that over my dead body!"

Jesse laughed. "You think she's that good?"

"I know she's that good. She's perfect for the part; just wait until you hear her sing. But, it's not just her voice, which in itself is amazing, it's also the emotional depth she brings to the role."

"I trust your choices, Chris. After all it's your baby and you 'd know best what the roles require."

"Great! Well then, let's get to this luncheon meeting and get the papers signed. Then we can get to the really important matters-like the play. Your first rehearsal with us is Monday at 8:30 am sharp."

ooooooooooooo

Rachel was having a mini anxiety attack. She'd enjoyed the first week of rehearsals, but not knowing who would be cast as her leading man was nerve-racking. Rumor had it that a choice had finally been made and that the new addition would be joining them today (if all the details had been finalized satisfactorily.)

It would have been much easier if he'd been cast at the same time as the rest of them, Rachel mused. In just one week a bond had already started forming amongst the young actors; adding someone new would change the dynamics. Besides, her career could be made or broken in this play depending on whomever they cast and what kind of chemistry the two of them had. What if they decided she was too inexperienced? Or what if she and the new actor took an immediate dislike to one another?

Taking a deep breath Rachel tried to control her anxiety as she finished getting dressed. She wished she had Kurt and Blaine to discuss this with but the two had decided to go on an eight week madcap holiday which Kurt had dubbed 'The Klaine Grand Tour of Europe'. She'd texted them with the good news about getting a callback but, afraid the role was too good to be true, afraid of jinxing things, she hadn't told them yet that she'd landed the part. If only she could talk to Jesse. His Broadway experience and belief in her abilities would have been reassuring. For several months now she'd been toying with the idea of trying to contact him through his agent, but she knew Jesse was currently performing in London and so she had felt her chances were better if she waited until he'd returned to New York. Now she was regretting that decision to wait. Well, then, she decided, she'd do the next best thing. Rachel grabbed her iPod, and selecting the playlist of Jesse's songs which she'd transferred into her player, she headed off to rehearsal with his voice singing encouragement in her ears.

Rachel marched briskly down the corridor of the the old theater that had been rented for their rehearsals. She wasn't about to be late if this was the day she was to meet her leading man; in fact she had aimed to be extra early. At the very least she felt it might give her a slight advantage. As she made her way towards the dimly lit stage she realized that she could hear two male voices talking. That was unusual. She and Chris were the only two that ever came early; in fact everyone joked that the two of them must camp out at the theater since they were always the first ones there and the last to leave.

She nibbled indecisively on her lower lip for a moment then squared her shoulders and put on her bright showface. She was half-way across the stage to where Chris was sitting at the piano when it registered just who was standing next to him. Rachel came to an immediate and complete standstill.

"Jesse?" she asked in disbelief.

"Rachel?" Jesse's voice held equal astonishment.

"What are you doing here?" They both asked simultaneously.

Chris looked back and forth between them in surprise. "You two know each other? But how?"

"Ohio" Rachel said

"Show choir" Jesse added almost at the same time. He approached her slowly, finally stopping just less than an arm's length away. "You're my leading lady?"

Rachel swallowed hard and nodded.

Jesse threw back his head and laughed before pulling her into a tight hug.

"Did I ever tell you, Chris, that you have incredibly good instincts for casting roles?" Jesse kept one arm draped across Rachel's shoulder as he turned towards his friend.

Chris gazed perceptively at Jesse for a moment. He had never seen Jesse look this happy and carefree. "I take it that you approve of my choice then," he added dryly.

"Absolutely." Jesse then glanced back down at Rachel. She seemed to still be in a state of bemusement, and for a moment he wondered if she didn't share in his enthusiasm at this twist of fate. But then she whispered softly in wonderment "If this is a dream, Jesse, I don't ever want to wake up."

Jesse smiled tenderly at her before replying reassuringly, "it's not a dream, Rachel. It's an inevitability."

**Epilogue**

The musical went on to become a smash hit. Those that had seen it with the original cast still reminisce how it was that all too rare a combination of superb music, great storytelling and perfect casting. It was no surprise to anyone when it soon moved to Broadway and later went on to sweep the Tony Awards; garnering Rachel her first Tony and Jesse his second. Even the album won a Grammy for Best Musical Theater Album.

For Rachel, it was first of all, a personal validation that she was doing what she was meant to do and had made the right choice in following her dreams. But of equal importance for both her and Jesse, the musical also marked the beginning of their epic romance. One, that she was happy to say, was still thriving some twenty-two years and two wonderful (and exceptionally talented) children later.

Rachel laid down her pen, and putting her daily journal aside, gazed fondly at the man asleep next to her. As usual that wayward curl spilled onto his forehead, only now it was streaked with silver. His forehead too had a few more lines, but he was still undeniably her Jesse. As if he sensed her thoughts about him, his eyelids opened languidly and he quirked one eyebrow up.

"Solved all the world's problems, have you?" he asked indulgently, a smile twitched at the corner of his lips. Rachel was always coming up with ideas of one kind or another, it kept his life interesting to say the least.

Rachel replied smugly, "actually, I was just deciding what I should call my memoirs."

"And, have you reached a conclusion?"

"Well since you stole 'Having It All' as the name for yours"

"Excuse me, my love," Jesse interrupted, "but as I recall it, I won that name from you fair and square." There was a self satisfied smirk lurking within the lazy amusement of his voice.

Rachel attempted to glare at Jesse but memories of exactly how he had won and the pleasurable aspects of losing that wager stilled her tongue. Instead Rachel quickly turned off the bedside lamp and melded herself against him. She smiled contentedly as his arm instinctively wrapped around her in a way that was loving and protective, but never restrictive.

"Yes, maybe my memory is a bit faulty on that. Perhaps you should refresh it for me," she suggested, but Jesse's lips were already doing delightful things to her earlobe and there was no need for further encouragement from her.

It was sometime later, as they lay relaxed and sated, that Jesse remembered to ask. "So, your memoirs, what did you decide on for a title?"

Rachel, smiled contentedly and murmured as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, "I believe I will call it 'Defying Gravity."

The End


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